I’ve never felt particularly connected to my womb space. I actually struggled to feel the light that most healers said was supposed to emanate from it. I would place my hands in an upside down triangle, hoping to find her voice. I only felt empty and stagnant. Even when I was pregnant with my son, there was no ethereal understanding or otherworldly communication.
I figured something was wrong with me.
I didn’t even consider there being a blockage until I kept getting confirmation through readings, and scrolling past literature that resonated heavily- all aspects pointing directly towards my sacral chakra and the work that needed to be done within that space. I tried rituals, baths, open dialogue, writing, art, all aiding my spiritual body greatly but, in those moments, still no light.
Within this swirling time, mermaids appeared, making their presence well-known.
In Western culture, mermaids are typically known to be alluring, seductive, and vengeful feminine energies, which is true, but only partially. The aforementioned attributes make up a small amount of the entirety of these beings. Much mystery surrounds them. In African folklore, they are very powerful deities. Mermaids are symbolic for healing, fertility, sex, and creation, as is the womb. They are beautifully divine, and demand a worthy sacrifice in place of their adoration. An eerie transparency I have, to see their rage and their romanticism transpire comfortably. The clarity at which they present themselves to me is strikingly familiar.
These concepts became intertwined and the meaning was left for me to decode.
It wasn’t until I took a leap of faith in moving to Envigado, Colombia. I was sitting on my porch watching the plants dance in the wind and listening to sound therapy. I have never felt my womb tingle with such delight.
Because mermaids symbolize creation as well as the womb, it makes sense that before I could unlock the mysteries in the connection between the two, I would need to create.
How can I possibly understand the goddess energy that exists within mermaids if I have failed to create from the heart/womb space? If I chose to live my life against my heart and for my mind, it would be impossible to reveal the secrets of the womb.
The secrets revealed themselves once I finally stepped into my power and birthed a life worth living.
The mermaids were telling me I must sacrifice and die before I can become them. I must allow them to immerse me in these ancient, black, primordial waters. I must face each monster that came to greet me in the darkness. I must allow them to open my clenched fists, in turn, opening my heart, releasing doubt, pain and fear. I must swallow abyss, black, ancient, and drown. I must sacrifice and die before I can become the power, beauty, and sorcery of the womb, of the most creative magical space connecting to the heart. They go hand-in-hand.
The mermaids were communicating my humanity dying and asking me to trust them, trust them to kill me, lead me to a life of eternal magic, bliss, opportunities, blessings, and creation.
My womb is glowing and I can finally breathe.
Being receptive, vulnerable, and accepting that I knew nothing and felt nothing, led me to be immersed in my own bliss, my own understanding, my own creation.
I began to make myself feel beautiful each day. I began waking up a little earlier to take care of myself. I began to talk to the plants, coming to my friends in dreams with the perfected art of connecting.
Creation and magnetism folded into one.
Incantations come through as these holy words, cleansed and sacred and complete. I draw urges, intuition, messages from within- without. They come in the form of poetry, alchemy, patience, and connecting the dots.
And connecting the dots is how you unlock your power.